Tensions began to escalate between Hailey and I. Hailey began to hang out more and more with “the twins” and fall into destructive behavior. She had always had a dark side, but I wanted her to come to the light more than anything. I was an emotional wreck. I had been humiliated at my birthday party, my dog had died, my grandfather was getting surgery for cancer, I was having a hard time fitting in at church, and I was really worried about Hailey. We began preparing for the transition to the junior high school and choosing our classes. Soon the stress from all of the change and emotional turmoil I was going through proved to be too much.
I blew up.
I screamed at Hailey. I told her how stupid she was being. How self-destructive she was being. How she was capable of doing so much good but she couldn’t do that if she kept down the path she was on. More than anything I unleashed on her all of the pent-up anger, frustration, pain, and sadness that had been building inside my body, inside my soul. I screamed.
I couldn’t handle it anymore. I walked away from her. I grabbed Thaina, Faith, and Janessa and told them that I thought we really needed to pray for Hailey. In that moment, I knew I couldn’t save her. I knew I couldn’t save myself. But I focused on her. I knew that Christ could save her. During the recess after lunch I talked Thaina, Faith, and Janessa into praying for Hailey right there and then. Under the shade of the three trees that had sheltered my play for years, I knelt down and pulled my friends down with me. First I said that we should all silently say our own prayers. I closed my eyes, folded my arms, and began to pray internally. I asked God to not let Hailey run away from home. I asked God to convert her to the church. I asked God for something to go right. I asked God to change Hailey. I asked God to make her life better. I asked God to heal Hailey’s heart. Then I asked Janessa to pray for us all like Jehovah’s Witnesses do. She offered a beautiful heartfelt prayer to God on our behalf. And then I prayed for all of us. I prayed with all of my heart. Please God, bless Hailey.
After a day or two Hailey and I were able to work out our differences. Hailey realized that I was hurting because of things that didn’t have anything to do with her and I realized that as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t control her. We came to an uneasy peace.
A week before school got out, my parents sat Mason and I down for a family meeting. We had never had a family meeting before but I wasn’t too worried about it. I hoped that we would be getting a new puppy. Mom and Dad explained that Dad’s work had asked him to change stores that he managed and that the new store was in St. George. I wasn’t too worried about it, Dad had changed stores before and it had never affected me before. But then Mom and Dad explained that St. George was five hours away and that we would be moving. They said we didn’t have a choice, either Dad could take the job or he’d be out of a job.
My world fell apart again in that instant. For the third time in less than a month, my life was shattered. Move? New school? New friends? No. I wanted to go to Junior High with my friends. We already had classes picked out together. I didn’t want to make new friends. I liked my current friends very much. Leave the only place I could ever remember living? My church? My cousins? No. Anger and determination grew inside me.
I wouldn’t move.
They couldn’t make me.
Did they realize they were ruining my life?
My life was over.
First Coconut.
Then Grandpa’s cancer.
Then fighting with Hailey.
Now this?
No.
I could never recover from this. Mom and Dad continued to explain that we would be moving as soon as possible but that we weren’t allowed to tell anyone that we were moving until after school was out.
My mind couldn’t comprehend it. We were moving in a few weeks, and I was not allowed to tell my friends and say good bye. Were we just going to disappear? I wanted to say good bye. None of my friends or school teachers would know what happened to me. How could we move so quickly? How could I not mention it to anyone?
The last week of school killed me. I devised plan after plan on avoiding the move. I longed to tell everyone how mean my parents were, making me move. I wanted my friends to know what was going on, to feel bad for me, to help me find a way to foil this evil plot that was going on. But I didn’t say a word.
After school got out I told Hailey I was moving. She couldn’t believe it either. We had always known that we wouldn’t be able to always go to school together, but we’d always imagined that she would be the one moving, not me. My parents put the house up for sell. They sold it four days later. They bought a house in St. George one day after that. My dad moved down to St. George and we waited out the month and a half before we would move down there with him. The summer passed quicker than usual, and before long it was July 24th, moving day. Thaina, Hailey, and my friend Jessica came over to say good bye to me as my Mom and Grandmother finished packing up all of our belongings and loading them into the moving truck. I cried. During the five hour drive to my new home I raged. I sulked. I rolled my eyes with all of the sarcasm my newly teenaged body could muster.
My life was over.
My childhood was over.
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