"Does this needle make my blood seem thick?" and other concerns

When you go to the hospital as often as I do you learn things about your body that you couldn't learn otherwise. Nurses and doctors often make comments about my body that I'm not exactly sure how to take like:

• "You have really thick tissue." Umm, what exactly does that mean? What tissue are you talking about? Fat tissue? Skin tissue? Vein tissue? Do I need to do something about my thick tissue? Or is that just your excuse for not being able to start an IV? Is that why needles hurt me so badly?

• "You have veins that roll, are a mile deep, and shrink." Umm, I'm sorry my veins suck. I didn't even know that my body was a mile deep ;). What would you like me to do to fix these problems? I've asked my veins to stay still, come to the surface, and stay big; so far they haven't complied. When I design my next body I'll request good veins and thin tissue ;) Once again I can't help but wonder if this is really my fault or if you just suck at your job.

• "Wow your jugular vein doesn't go all the way down to your heart on this side!" Yet again God decided to play a cruel trick on my doctors and nurses and not place veins where they are supposed to be.

• "Your port moves, is slanted, is almost impossible to access, and clots over easily. It's probably because the surgeon placed it in breast tissue not "other" tissue and you have so many platelets in your blood." I'm sorry that I have big boobs and the surgeon chose to place my port near them (and near my heart which I think was the actual goal). And I'm sorry I have a blood disorder that causes my blood to break down quickly and causes me to have a high platelet count. Dang genetics - they ruin everything ;). How would you like me to fix these problems?

• "Your blood is really thick today." Umm, is that a good thing or a bad thing? What effects the thickness of my blood? Is that the thick tissue you were talking about?

• "You have lots of scar tissue." What can I say, you weren't the first person to try to poke me there and you probably won't be the last.

I guess that's the difficult thing about having an imperfect body it makes things difficult for the doctors and nurses to do their job. It's not their fault my body is so difficult. But it's not my fault either. So I can't blame them and they can't blame me.

"Republican" vs "Democrat" a.k.a. "Romney" vs "Obama" aka "Us" vs "Them" aka "Good" vs "Evil" aka "Right" vs "Wrong" aka "The Nastiest Divorce I've Ever Seen"

I'm kind of/sort of a huge news junkie.  I'm constantly checking ksl and reading the free newspapers provided by my school.  As a news junkie, I feel like I'm constantly getting flooded with political "stuff". And with the upcoming election I'm getting flooded with even more political "stuff" from "friends" statuses.  I know "stuff" is such a vague term but I feel like vague is a good description of our current politics. It's not specific political arguments about how the city, county, state, or nation should be run.  It's vague finger pointing blame.

Election year 2012 is the nastiest divorce I've ever seen. (Except with most marriages the couple starts out liking each other, I don't think either political party ever liked the other political party.)  You know the ones where when the Mom and the Dad are just arguing because that's all that they do, it's not about whatever the argument was originally about.  They start arguing and they just throw every little grievance over the years and they throw the kitchen sink into the argument and they get so off topic from the original argument.  Those divorces where the couple is fighting years after the divorce is granted.  Those divorces where the parties involved believe that nothing is "their fault" it's all the other person's fault.  Yes the divorce is ugly but if the "other person" would just stop fighting, they would stop fighting, but heaven forbid they should be the one to stop the fighting first.  Those divorces where there is absolutely no possibility of the couple agreeing or compromising about anything.  Those divorces where everyone who knows someone involved in the divorce has to "pick a side".  Those divorces where both sides thinks "I'm right and they are wrong" or "I'm a good person but the other person I'm pretty sure is the devil in a thinly veiled disguise".  And everyone involved in the divorce, but especially children, which is in this case the country, gets hurt.

What makes me even sadder is when politics spills into everyday life and even relationships between friends.  For some reason people seem to think that if they post an angry Facebook post about how whatever political party/politician that they disagree with is the devil himself sent to destroy the country will convince their friends/family/acquaintances that support that devil  politician that the politician they support is actually evil.  Because of their angry and contentious Facebook post everyone is going to vote for the politician/party that they think will save the country.    But what really happens is that they just tick off their friends and start arguments.  And all the while the country becomes more and more polarized and incapable of compromising.  Compromise is exactly what this country needs.

I'm just going to say it.

Democrats aren't evil.
Republicans aren't evil.
Mitt Romney isn't evil.
Barack Obama isn't evil.

Honestly, we need Democrats, Republicans, and Independents.  We need people who think differently and who value different things.  But we also need people who able to work with people they don't agree with and who are able to compromise.  Even if they could just pretend to get along the country would be taking a step in the right direction.  Extremism causes problems.

Please research the candidates, national, state, and local, and vote for whoever you think will be the best for the country.  But don't hate people who vote differently then you.  Honestly, the world isn't going to end because of who is elected.  (The world is going to end because the Mayan calendar ends, duh.)

It's just like Miranda Lambert says in "Only Prettier"

"If you wanna pick a fight, I'm gonna have to say goodnight.

I don't have to be hateful I can just say "bless your heart"

We don't have to like each other but it's sure fun to pretend.

If you just smile and behave you can always get your way

It's a universal plan that'll get you where you can in all societies.

So let's shake hands and reach across those party lines

You got your friends just like I got mine

We might think a little differently but we got a lot in common you will see

We're just like you, only prettier.

I'm just like you, only prettier."

That's all I have to say about that.

My Mantra Every Time I Get On Facebook

The. End.

Rapunzel and I

One of the great things about EFY is that it gave me cause to look at myself in a different light.  I wanted to let my kids know why I'm jaundice, but I wanted a fun and positive way to explain it.  So I thought of something brilliant.  I would tell my kids that my skin glows like Rapunzel's hair in Tangled.  It worked for them, for my fellow counselors, and even for me.  The past four weeks when I've told people they've been like "It's so true, you glow."  It's so much better to be told that you glow rather than looking at yourself like an ugly neon light.  And as we discussed the theme Arise and Shine and how these kids can get the glow of the Spirit by living the gospel I realized that "glowing" is a good thing.  I'm glad to "glow".

Another Late Night

I'm up late again, chilling in the stairwell, making sure none of the EFY Friday night lock down "prisoners" don't escape.  The keys are collected, damage reports completed, I'm listening to my Walt Disney Pandora channel, reading some General Conference talks, finishing up my tenth journal and beginning my eleventh journal.  I love EFY. It's weird to think that I'm not going to be doing this for another three weeks.  EFY has consumed my life this past month and I've loved it.  I'm exhausted and I could use a break, but part of me really doesn't want a break.  It's so cool to actually be making a difference by what I'm doing.  Even if I just touch one or two lives for good, it's so worth it.  I love going to bed exhausted because I've been serving others and my Savior.  And bringing these girls and boys closer to Him has brought me closer to Him.  I've made some awesome friends.  I've learned what it means to be truly respected by men and I've learned what it looks like when a man loves the Lord with all his heart.  I've learned that I need to learn how to work in a partnership better.  I've learned that I hate disciplining people, even when it's necessary and in their best interests.  I've learned that people get scared when you threaten to go all "Lamanite mother" on them.  I've been able to glimpse Heavenly Father's love for these kids.  I've learned how much I've learned over the past seven years of my life.  I've learned a lot since I was fourteen.  And when I'm twenty eight I'll be like "I've learned a lot since I was twenty one."  I want my kids to know that life gets better than it is at fourteen.  It really truly does.

Father's Day and Graduation

This post is kind of a combined tribute to my Dad for Father's Day and to my little (or not so little) brother who recently graduated and is soon to head off to college and then on to his mission.  Mason's spent a lifetime being told that he's just like dad.  And I think that's a good guy to be like.  :)  I was recently listening to Brad Paisley's "If He's Anything Like Me" and it made me think of both of them.  So I thought I'd share it.  :)

"He's gonna love me

And hate me along the way

The years are gonna fly by

And I already dread the day

He's gonna hug his mama, he's gonna shake my hand

He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out

If he's anything like me

There's worst folks to be like, oh, he'll be alright

If he's anything like me" 

Happy Father's Day Dad!!

And Happy (late) Graduation Mason!!

Blog Stalker

I’ve made this confession before, but I feel it’s time for me to make it again.

I’m a blog stalker.

Some blogs I don’t feel too bad/creepy about stalking, because I know those people, their friends, family, and acquaintances I met once upon a time.  So I don’t feel so much like a “stalker” per say, more like I’m just keeping track of what’s going on with them.

But then there are the people who I’ve never met in my life who I blog stalk.  They’re kind of my guilty pleasure.  They’re the ones with perfect lives: beautiful, funny, and loving husbands; the cutest kids you’ve ever seen; who are so cute and crafty.  Some of them live in big cities, the kinds I’ve visited and fallen in love with.  There are some who live blissfully in happy valley.  There are some who live perfectly imperfect lives, the one’s who have had to overcome incredible challenges with their own health or with their children’s health, and manage to show the imperfection yet still make their lives seem perfection.  There are the one’s who wear the cutest clothes.  There are the one’s who can and do pull off red lipstick or fake eyelashes.  All the blogs I read have a faith component to them, most match my own faith but some are different.  I’ve never met these ladies.  Most are a little (or a lot) older than me.  All are in a completely different place in life than I am.  They all epitomize what I hope to become someday in a different way.  And I want to be all their best friends.  

Death and Dying

So I bet you're wondering why I would title a blog post "Death and Dying".  I'm really not trying to be morbid.  I don't have a death wish.  This isn't a "final" blog post.  It's because this is my favorite class this semester.

Now you're probably wondering why I would even be taking a "Death and Dying" class.  It sounds like a morbid, depressing, maybe even scary, class to begin with.  I'm taking the class because it's suggested for future Child Life Specialists, because even though it's a sad thought, some kids in hospitals do die.  And part of the Child Life Specialists job is to help kids get through the dying process and to help siblings of children who have died.

This class has given me a chance to reflect on death.  It's given me a chance to notice how prevelant it is in our pop culture.  I've got a "death playlist" with 28 songs that were already on my iPod that have to do with death.  And there are songs that I really like that I don't even own that are about death as well like Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying" and "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry.  Not to mention how much it's on TV.  And the news.  Oh goodness hearing about the tragic deaths of the Powell boys made me sick to my stomach.

But I've really enjoyed this class on death because it's taught me how to live.  It's reminded me that relationships are the most important thing in life.  Caring about people is the most important thing you can do.  That's what matters when you face death.

Becoming Peter Pan

I’ve heard it said that people my age are walking around like “a bunch of twenty something year old Peter Pans.”  I never was a huge fan of Peter Pan as a kid.  I wanted to grow up.  Grownups got to do so many cool things.  And my life was going to be perfect, of course.  Like a fairytale.  Why not grow up?  I could eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I wouldn’t have to go to bed.  I would have so much independence and freedom.  I couldn’t wait to grow.

But the older I get the more I feel like I’m becoming Peter Pan, stuck in Never Land.  In some ways it’s my decision.  As I’ve grown up I’ve found that all those adults who told me not to grow up to fast were onto something.  And I’d always just thought they were crazy.  Why wouldn’t I want to grow up?  There was no such thing as growing up too fast.  But now I’m wondering where the past twenty years of my life went.  Now I’m wishing I could go back to the innocence and the simplicity of childhood.  And I do sometimes.  I eat foods I loved growing up.  I watch The Lion King (I still know most of the words).  I sleep with a stuffed animal and my “security blanket”.  I occasionally listen to the Backstreet Boys and my Touched By An Angel CD.  Sometimes I feel much younger than my twenty years.  I wonder when I became old enough or responsible enough to drive, pay rent, go to college, and feed myself.  When did I become old enough to have friends my age who are married and even starting to pop out babies?  I don’t feel old enough, mature enough, or prepared at all for anything like that.  I’d say the older I get the less I feel like I’m ready for those responsibilities.  

I feel like Taylor Swift’s song “Never Grow Up” says everything I would tell myself when I was younger and how I feel right now.

                I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

                So here I am in my new apartment

                In a big city they just dropped me off

                It’s so much colder than I thought it would be

                So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

                Wish I’d never grown up

                Wish I’d never grown up

                Oh I don’t want to grow up

                Wish I’d never grown up

                It could still be little

                I don’t want to grow up

                Wish I’d never grown up

                It could still be simple

Miranda Lambert’s song “The House That Built Me” make me feel the same way.

                I know they say

                You can’t come home again.

                I just had to come back one last time.

                I thought if I could touch this place or feel it

                The brokenness inside me might start healing

                Out here it’s like I’m someone else

                Thought that maybe I could find myself

                If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave

                Won’t take nothing but a memory

                From the house that built me.

                You leave home,

     You move on

    And you do the best you can

                I got lost in this old world,

    Have forgotten who I am

                If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave

                Won’t take nothing but a memory

                From the house that built me

In some ways it is our society that is keeping me and my friends in Never Land.  I almost have a bachelor’s degree but that doesn’t mean a lot anymore.  I’ll have to go on for my Master’s degree.  Which means more school.  I have a job, but I can’t pay for everything on my own.  It’s a frustrating to still be financially dependent on my parents but I know I’m not alone in this.  I’m actually doing better than most kids my age because I’m not in debt at all.  We want to grow up, but there are so many hoops we have to jump through first.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is this:

 It's hard to grow up.  

Favorite Quote

"I Just Want To Be Ok"

Everyone has days when they feel like the world has been down on them.  When they feel judged and stupid mistakes throw them off.  And sometimes, for whatever reason, life just isn't ok.  When I get those days I listen to this song by Ingrid Michaelson.  It's so simple, but so true.

"I Don't Care For Your Fairy tales"

Honestly, 90% of the time, I love fairy tales.  I'm a sucker for any good Disney movie with a princess and prince and a good old fashioned happy ending (I mean, how cute is Tangled?! Seriously!)  And I love Taylor Swift fairy tale songs with happy endings as well (Is it possible to find a better song than "Love Story" or "Enchanted" or "Mine" or "Fearless" or any happy T. Swift song?)  I love Jane Austen novels which don't get much more fairy tale.  And I'm probably the biggest romantic day dreamer that I know.  But sometimes I get to the point where I'm like "Forget this!  It's overrated anyway. Boys are dumb. Guys are gay.  And real men don't exist anymore.( Go here for a refresher on the difference between boys, guys, and men.)  At times like that I listen to Carry Underwood's "The More Boys I Meet" and Sara Bareilles "Fairytale".  And occasionally I'll go for Broadway tunes like "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun" and the ever classic "I Hate Men".

"I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Sensitive"

So you remember when I told you all that I had found a new obsession in Alex Goot.  Yeah it's a true story.         As a matter of fact I'm going to share another one of his music videos with you all.  Because I'm just kind like that and want to introduce you to amazing music.  I've had his song "Sensitivity" on replay today.  I don't know what it is about a gorgeous, nerdy guy who has a beautiful voice and sings sensitive, melancholy songs, but he absolutely melts my heart.  And the lyrics to this song are how I would describe my life this past week or two and how I hope it will go in the future.

"I don't even know the real me anymore
I can't even show how I feel
I hit the floor
I'm talking rock bottom
My feelings I fought 'em
I can't believe it's come to this
Cause I need a grip on reality

Now I wanna feel some sensitivity

I've been doing fine in my misery
Not crazy
I told them not to worry about me"

The Days of Singer/Song Writer Melancholy

Lately I've been listening to a lot of melancholy music by singer/song writers like Dia Frampton (my pick to win The Voice), Alex Goot (swoon),  Sara Bareilles, and Ingrid Michaelson, just to name a few.  Dia recently came out with a new CD and her single "The Broken Ones" is one of my new favorites.  I'm not going to lie, the music video is a little weird and I'm not a huge fan of her extensions, but the song is great and her voice is amazing, like always.

"I can't help it,
I love the broken ones,
The ones who need the most patching up.
The one's who've,
 Never been loved

Maybe I see a part of me in them.

No your not alone
I love the broken ones."

Sticks and Stones

(I actually wrote this post a couple of months ago and never posted it.  I think there's been enough time that I can post it now.) 

"Words can break someone into a million pieces." - Taylor Swift

I've never taken criticism very well.  Even if it's constructive criticism and I know that logically, I have always had a tendency to take criticism very personally.  It's a weakness I've been trying to work on.  When I was younger I would never let anyone read anything I had written that meant anything to me, because even if they were just correcting grammar or spelling I felt like they were ripping my work apart and in essence ripping me apart.  I hold the things that I do, the things I believe in, the things I have experienced, the things I dream about, the things that make up who I am very close to my heart.  It takes a lot for me to open up my heart, my mind, my thoughts, and my words.  And when I do finally open that deepest part of me one thoughtless word, one small line on a paper, can cause me to close them off to others forever.

I've had people the past few weeks tell me what they really think of me.  It has all been with the best intentions.  And I know that.  None of them were trying to be mean.  Some were just absent mindedly commenting.  Some were trying to help me improve.  Some think they know me well.  Others know that they don't know me at all.  But they all still felt that it was appropriate to tell me exactly what my problem(s) is(are).  And I took all their words to heart.  Every. Single. Word.    Some I tried to apply and improve on.  Some I wondered at.  Some I ranted at.  These people with their words have no idea how they tore me apart.  They have no idea that I have been torn apart from every angle the past few weeks.  They don't know how many other people have also felt like it was their place to comment on my life.  They don't know how every word makes me want to crawl under a rock, never speak again, never try again.

I wonder why I give off such a terrible first impression?  It's not intentional.

I wonder when it's appropriate to take someone's criticism to heart and to use it to make you become a better person?  And when is it appropriate to scream in their face "Screw you!  You don't know my life!  How dare you?"  When is it ok to tell someone who is a consistently negative force in you life to get out? When is it ok to tell someone who will never think you're good enough to back off and get on with their own life?

"You, with your words like knives 

And swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again

Got me feeling like a nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard

Calling me out when I'm wounded

You picking on the weaker man

Well you can take me down with just one single blow

But you don't know, what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

....

You have pointed out my flaws again

As if I don't already see them

I walk with my head down

Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

...

And I can see you years from now in a bar

Talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion

But nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't do [anything]"

***

"I don't need you to worry about me cause I'm alright

I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

I still belong, don't get me wrong

You can speak your mind

But not on my time

Keep it to yourself, it's my life."

(I don't own the rights to either song)

Too harsh?  Yeah probably.  I meant every word of it. I'm sick of hearing everybody's opinion of me while I am nice and don't say what I'm really thinking.  Trust me, you don't want to know what I'm really thinking.  And it is my life and I really don't give a damn what anybody else thinks.  Especially people who don't even know me.  I try not to pass judgement on others.  Please give me the same courtesy.  Even if I'm not living my life exactly the way you think I should be.  Even if I'm not perfect.  I'm trying.  And believe it or not, I really do try to make everybody happy.  And I'm shooting for perfection.  So I'd rather not have my flaws pointed out to me.  Because I'm probably my worst critic.  So yes, I actually am aware of my flaws.  I am aware of what is not perfect in my life.  In all aspects of my life.  Nothing that anyone has told me the past week or two has surprised me.  But having it pointed out and elaborated on hasn't helped me at all.  

Poem In Progress

The moment she stepped foot on campus
She knew that she belonged.
She had the confidence people envy
And she had big dreams for life.
"Someday" she told herself "I'll leave this town.
I'll live in Boston, Washington D.C.,
Maybe even New York.
I'll be the new girl there,
Just like I'm the new girl here
And I'll rock that place
Just like I'm rocking this place."

What happens when dreams change?
When the dreams she has
And the dreams she wants
No longer match.
She changes slowly but steadily
The new dreams seem more out of reach
 Than her old dreams.
She feels a sense of helplessness.
But she wants her new dreams
To come true so badly.
It's an uphill battle, all the way.
Her heart is broken
She's rejected in every way possible.
She begins to wonder about
Abandoning this new dream
 For her old dream.
But something in her heart reminds her of the princess
She always wanted to be.
She wonders how long she'll play the sad part.

Years pass
A new city, she's the new girl again,
The confidence she knew so well dimmed
Unsure, unsteady,
Where will her path lead now?
The incline steepens
New mountains to climb
Angels come to help along the way
She recognizes some but others go unnoticed
Each come in the nick of time.
She tries not to look to far back or to far forward
Choosing to concentrate one step at a time,
Knowing time has changed her and those she loved;
Knowing time will change her and those she loves.
Learning to rely on herself
And her angels as they come and go
And no one else.

Nobody Said It Was Easy . . . No One Ever Said It Would Be So Hard

I hate making decisions.  I hate the finality of it.  I love keep my options open.  I hate closing the door.  I hate the whole process.  The not knowing.  The wondering "Am I sure this is right? Am I sure I'm not making some huge mistake?"

Of course I'm not sure. Most of the time there is no surety. If I was sure this choice would be super easy.

And I hate it when the choice is between two good things.  Why can't it always be black and white, good and bad, right and wrong, yes and no?  Why does it always have to be between white and a slightly different shade of white?  OK and OK?  Right and right in a different way?  Maybe and Maybe? How are you supposed to choose?

And why is it always feast or famine?  I pray for a long time for something, doesn't show up, doesn't show up, doesn't show up . . . wait and wait and wait . . . then BOOM! I get two (or more) good choices as an answer to said prayer.  I only needed one answer!  Two answers just complicates my life even more! Life's never that simple is it?

I know, I know.  It's a learning, growing experience.  I'll be thankful for it later.  It's life.  It's adulthood. Sometimes everybody has to choose between two good choices.

Quotes

For reasons usually unknown, some people are born with physical limitations. Specific parts of the body may be abnormal. Regulatory systems may be out of balance. And all of our bodies are subject to disease and death. Nevertheless, the gift of a physical body is priceless. Without it, we cannot attain a fulness of joy. ¹⁸

A perfect body is not required to achieve a divine destiny. In fact, some of the sweetest spirits are housed in frail frames. Great spiritual strength is often developed by those with physical challenges precisely because they are challenged. Such individuals are entitled to all the blessings that God has in store for His faithful and obedient children. ^{19 _ Elder Russel M. Nelson}

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.

Hippocrates 

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself.  And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.

-- Paulo Coelho

The Trouble With Being An Introvert And Slow To Warm Up

I've always liked being alone.  True story. There were many times when I was little and my brother wanted to play with me and I was mean to him because I wanted to play alone.  It wasn't anything against him (usually (sometimes?)) I have just always liked my alone time (ok I was a brat when I was little but that's not what this post is about). I always loved it when I could hang out at home all by myself . . . turn up my music and party by myself in my room.  I even get overloaded by socialization and then I have to take a break from the world and recoup in my own little world. 

So why do I feel so lonely?

I've felt this way before.  I remember when I was in the first grade and my only friends during recess were the "lunch duties".  I sat out and watched the other kids play for a year, not quite feeling included and sad because my best friend from kindergarten was in another class.  And then there was seventh grade.  That was a rough year.  I didn't even want to feel included that year because I just wanted to go home to all my friends and family and to have everything go back to the way it was before my 12th birthday.  I made three friends that year - one at school, one at YW's, and one in the car pool. 

I guess I'm just a little confused because it wasn't like this two years ago.  But it was different then, it was easier then.  I know that it's going to get better.  It always does.  I struggle alone for a year and then it gets better. People don't always like me at first, aparantly I put out a vibe of hatred. I don't mean to, but I've been told that I do.  And I'm not completely alone.  My roommates are alright and I have one friend at school. 

Sometimes when I'm walking by myself or waiting all alone at the doctors office I wonder why I'm so alone.  But then I realize that I'm learning to be independent and self relient.  I only have myself to rely on out here.  Except that's not really true.  I have a lot of family, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, who have been so supportive of me while I've been out here.  And I always have the Savior to rely on.  I'm really not alone at all, there are always people around me, at school, at church, everywhere I go.  I'm not as alone as I originally thought I was.

Playlist:
"Dancing With Myself" - Glee
"On My Own" - Les Miserables
"The Outside" - Taylor Swift

I Hate When My Guitar Starts Weeping Gently

Warning: Random Rambling/Ranting Post

The theory of evolution is just that a theory.  Do you want to know what else is a theory? Gravity.

The word "believe" is not synonymous with the word "agree."  "I believe in Santa Claus" would be the correct way to use the word believe.  "I don't in the Occupy Wall Street movement" would be the wrong usage of believe.  You may not agree with the Occupy Wall Street movement, but you still believe that it exists.

Stop judging.  All it does it make you seem mean.  And yes, I know that since you talk crap about everyone and their dog behind their backs to me, that you're talking crap to everyone and their dog about me.  I'm just smart enough to figure that out.

I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you, I'm not mean, and I'm not depressed.  I'm just an introvert.