Dear Friend,

Once upon a time, months and months ago you asked me a question that I haven't been able to get out of my head.  It wasn't an exceptionally original question, but your sincerity pierced me to the core.  I could tell that this question really troubled you and for a good reason.  I wondered why I had never been bothered by your question in the same way you had.  In fact I had heard the question theoretically thousands of times in Primary, Sunday School, Young Women's, Seminary, Relief Society, Institute and General Conference.  I'd practiced out scenarios of how to answer such a question just as many times.  In theory the answer is simple.  But yet when you asked me that question, the answer tripped on my tongue.  I knew the answer, I just didn't know how to explain the answer. I didn't know how to explain how I knew the answer.  You know?  And when I gave my best heartfelt simple answer, you didn't seem to believe me.  Sometimes I say things better in writing. I want to answer you now. I will use the words of men that I believe to be prophets who talk to God to receive answers to questions like yours, I will also use books that I believe to be scriptures.  But most importantly I will share some of my own experiences and my own feelings and conclusions that give me peace as I contemplate your question.

I believe in a loving Heavenly Father because I have experienced his love, even when my life hasn't been fair. My life has not been fair.  I never claimed it has been.  I didn't do anything to deserve the blood disorder I was born with, to look yellow and be hospitalized from my birth.  It was unfair.  But I am a better person for the unfair experiences I have gone through.  I can say that with all of my heart and soul.  I am convinced of that fact.  I wish I could grab you and look you straight in the eyes so you could see that I really do believe this and that I would not trade my unfair experiences for anything in the entire world.  I would not trade my worst day for one day of perfect health, perfect beauty or perfect anything.  I mean it when I say that I would not be who I am today without the unfair experiences I have gone through.  End of story.  And I love and am so grateful to my Heavenly Father, my God, for trusting me to be able to get through those awful and hard days.  He knew that I could handle it, that I could do hard things, when I didn't know that I could.  He knew that this hard road would lead me to be exactly where I need to be and exactly who I need to be today.

I know that it is so hard when unfair things happen to you.  I know that it is even harder when you witness them happening to innocent people that you know and innocent people you don't even know. Elder Cook said "Events often occur that rob us of peace and heighten our sense of vulnerability". I have experienced that first hand as well.  I know that it breaks your heart.  I know that in that moment it does not make any sense at all.  And it is so easy to get mad.  But I don't believe in a vindictive God or a God who enjoys seeing his creations, his children, suffer.  I believe in a God who loves to see His children become more like Him.  I believe in a God who loves his children.  I do not know why all the bad and unfair things in the world happen.  I can't answer that question.  But I know that God loves his children.  And that is enough for me.  I know that when my heart has been absolutely broken, He understands because His heart has been broken too.  When He sees unfair things happen to me and to you and to everyone you and I love He gets it because unfair things have happened to Him and the people who He loves.  God allowed His Son, His Perfect Son Jesus Christ, to die for me and you, imperfect me and you.  What could be more unfair?  He watched as His Son was rejected and scorned, and He suffered for me and you.  What could that be but love?

How do I know these things?  This knowledge has not come easily to me.  I struggled for years and years feeling so alone and feeling like life really wasn't fair.  I asked God to be able to feel His love.  I asked God if He was there and if He cared.  And He answered me, slowly, almost imperceptibly.  But I have felt God's love.  To me His influence sometimes feels like a warm feeling in my heart, sometimes it just feels like calmness.  As I study about God and His Son Jesus Christ, I have prayed to know if it is true and I have felt the reassurance in my heart that it is true.  What are you feeling right now?  If it feels good, if it feels true, I can tell you that you are feeling the Holy Ghost, telling you that what I am telling you is true.  It doesn't have to be completely overwhelming, just the smallest assurance, the smallest hope, hold on to it.  Build on that assurance and hope, that feeling.  Look for it.  It's there.  Because God loves you too.  Just like I know God loves me, I know that He loves you.  And because His heart has been broken and He has experienced unfairness, He understands like no one else what you are feeling.  Turn to Him.  Turn to Christ.  Let them heal your heart.  It's a slow process.  But it's worth it.

Why does God let bad things happen to good people?

I don't know, but I know that God loves His children (1 Nephi 11:17).

If you want to know more visit mormon.org.