I didn't have to work on Monday so I decided to take a trip up to Palmyra, New York to see the church sites. What an amazing day trip. It took me a while to get up there because it was raining and my GPS took me through all sorts of tiny, random towns. I finally arrived at noon and it was still raining at that point. I drove past the Hill Cumorah, the Palmyra Temple, and started at the Joseph Smith Farm. I was greeted by a lovely missionary, Sister Trang. She showed me around the log cabin where the Smith Family originally lived and where the Angel Moroni visited Joseph Smith and told him where to go at the Hill Cumorah to find the gold plates. It was really cool to be in the room where it happened. Then we walked down to the frame house and we realized that we were EFY counselors together at SLC week 2 last year. Crazy small world. She then showed me the frame house and we continued to discuss EFY. Then she allowed me to walk into the Sacred Grove by myself. Since I had my phone with me, I decided to play the Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD dedicated to the prophet Joseph Smith softly. I started off with Joseph Smith's First Prayer, the On A Golden Springtime, and then This Is My Beloved Son. As I walked it was still raining a little, but not down pouring. It was a peaceful rain and the rain drops looked absolutely beautiful on the leaves and trees. I could feel the Spirit so strongly as I wandered. I could imagine Joseph Smith praying and pictures Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appearing. I stopped to pray for a moment. Then I began to make my way back out, listening to Joseph, A Nashville Tribute songs The Prayer and The Rising. I stopped halfway through to the end and decided to read Joseph Smith History. It was so beautiful. I realized as I read about the visit from the Angel Moroni, that it had occurred 190 years ago, to the week, almost to the day, I was there. It was a tender mercy. Seeing these sites was an amazing experience, especially as I had had an opportunity to study Joseph Smith and the process to bring forth the Book of Mormon all summer at EFY.
I then decided to stop by the Palmyra Temple and the Grandin Bookstore. The Palmyra Temple is small but beautiful with stain glass windows of the sacred grove and a view of the sacred grove. I also was able to attend the temple dedication of this temple so it was really cool to see it in person. On the way to the bookstore I saw the four churches on the corner that caused Joseph so much confusion. The bookstore was really cool as well. It was cool to see how much work went into the printing of the Book of Mormon. The Sister Missionary who took me on the tour there happened to have dated the son of one of my favorite Child Life Professors at Utah. Again it was a super small world. After I went to the Hill Cumorah which was also a really cool experience.
Guys, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is so so true. It's amazing. And I love it.
It's been a while since I've blogged. I guess I've been too busy living to blog. Which is definitely a good thing. Anyway, here are the updates:
I went to Arizona and was a mother for a week and a half to three children. What a crazy week and a half! But I'm so glad that I got to hang out with Sabrina and her adorable children!
I have been working EFY this summer. I worked three weeks in Utah and I'm now in Virginia for four weeks!
I will be moving to Pennsylvania to do a Child Life internship (in the middle of nowhere) sometime in August or September (date still up in the air). Getting that internship was an EFY miracle. And it is obviously where I need to be now.
I love Virginia. It's so green and beautiful. And the fireflies! Oh the fireflies! I am officially obsessed with fireflies! I had no idea what I was missing but I'm like a little kid when I see fireflies! And the food! Oh the yummy, huge portioned, unhealthy food that tastes like a sinful heaven! I love it! I'm going to be so fat at the end of this month. Except for the huge hill (mountain?) that I have to climb several times a day to get back to my dorms.
And yes I've been wearing yellow all summer. And I wore a bright pink sparkly headband today. It's a strange world we live in.
I did it! After four years and two universities I'm a college graduate!! I'm so glad my parents and grandparents were all able to make it to the ceremony.
My graduation announcements
Grandma and Grandpa Heiner and I.
Me and all of my grandparents.
Grandma Moore and I.
Me and my parents.
Yay I'm Graduated!
As I close this chapter of my life, I'm feeling so grateful. I couldn't have graduated without all of the love and support of my family and friends. I would be nowhere without my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
I absolutely love Jason Mraz. I stumbled across across one of his new songs "Living in the Moment" while listening this playlist on Songza and I immediately pressed the thumbs up button, googled the lyrics to this song, and added the song on Spotify. (Random tangent: It's pretty ridiculous just how many different ways it is to listen to music now. You'd think between my CD's, car radio, iTunes, Pandora, last.fm, Grooveshark, Youtube, Songza, Spotify, and my iPhone which has access to most of these music mediums, I'd have enough ways to listen to any song I want whenever I want. And you'd probably be right. But should it really take so many different avenues to get music? I think it's slightly ridiculous, but I've pretty much almost always got at least one of them playing. I may be slightly addicted. I wonder if that's healthy? But I digress.) Just ask my mother, this song is exactly what I need right now. This past month have been absolutely insane and I have a feeling the next few months are going to be even crazier. Now most of the madness has actually been very positive and I am so grateful for the opportunities that have been presented in my life right now. But as good as they have been, they have also been stressful and I've been feeling really anxious, which I know is not healthy. I know that I need to "run and hide my crazy and start acting like a lady" and "I wish I could be just a little less dramatic" (Miranda Lambert, "Mama's Broken Heart"). This song helps me to be a little less crazy and dramatic. Jason Mraz is a genius, there isn't a song of his that I have heard that I haven't loved. This song is like a grown up version of "Hakuna Mata" which is perfect because I love that song but I'm not so good at having "no worries for the rest of my days." But I'm going to try to be better at living in the moment with no worries.
Enjoy!
Video:
Lyrics:
If this life is one act
Why do we lay all these traps
We put 'em right in our path
When we just wanna be free
I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about all things
That will not happen to me
So I just let go of what I know I don't know
And I know I'll only do this by
Living in the moment
Living my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
Living in the moment
I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done
I let my past go past
And now I'm having more fun
I'm letting go of the thoughts
That do not make me strong
And I believe this way can be the same for everyone
And if I fall asleep
I know you'll be the one who'll always remind me
To live in the moment
To live my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
With peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I can't walk through life facing backwards
I have tried
I tried more than once to just make sure
And I was denied the future I'd been searching for
This weekend I went home for my little brother's LDS mission farewell ("little" doesn't describe him very well anymore, he's taller than I am now, younger would be a more accurate description, but I've been calling him my little brother forever). It was a great weekend, definitely worth braving the fog and the snow to make it back home for Mason. I was so glad so many of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were able to make the five hour drive down especially with the weather. It was great to be able to share this awesome occasion with them. It was great to be able to hang Mason one last time before his mission to Ecuador. And I was glad I was able to help my parents out a little bit with getting ready for brunch after Mason's talk.
The actual farewell was great. The opening hymn was "Hark All Ye Nations" which immediately brought me back to EFY. It was one of the songs that was part of musical program which I got to be apart of for two out of my six weeks. It was one of my favorite songs in the program, although I really wasn't too familiar with it before that summer. EFY last summer was all about missionary work, which was perfect for these kids who would soon hear about the new age requirements for missionary work. Mason's talk was great, even though the night before I had distracted him from working on it by joking about movie quotes that he should put in the talk. Movie quotes and jokes are how we bond. It was my last chance to hang out with him. After Mason finished bearing his testimony in Spanish he, my dad, the young men in our ward, and young men leaders sang "Called To Serve" another song dear to my heart because of EFY. "Called To Serve" and "I Am A Child Of God" are the new EFY medly. After Brother Duffin and Bishop Ence spoke and then we sang "God Be With You Till We Meet Again". That song killed me. I didn't even make it through the first verse before I started bawling. My mom and dad saw me crying, so they started crying. Both my grandmothers cried as well. But I definitely cried the hardest. I left as soon as the closing prayer was said, hoping to gain my composure while getting ready for the brunch. In my hurry I lost my shoe, dumped my purse onto my foot and the accelerator while driving home, and got mud from the car all over my leg. I was a mess.
We got home and I got through the brunch ok until I knew it was time I needed to go so I could beat the snow storm. Then even the thought of saying good bye got me teary eyed. I was sad I had to leave so soon, that I'm not coming back home sooner, that I won't be there to see Mason off to the airport. I was sad that I had to drive five hours away. I didn't want to say good bye. I felt bad that everyone was around when I said bye. I couldn't stop crying. My family was great, loving, and supportive, sharing their own experiences of saying good bye to brothers, reminding me why it was good for Mason to be going on a mission and I appreciated their love, advice, and caring. I wasn't crying because I didn't think Mason should go on a mission. I was crying because I was going to miss him and I wanted more time with him. We're finally friends.(It's days like today that make me regret what a brat I was during the first eighteen years of my life, especially towards Mason.) I don't want him to leave me but I do think he should go. He's not even really leaving for another couple weeks and I've been missing him since the beginning of January. It just all came to a head today. And I couldn't stop crying. We hugged like three times. We made my aunts cry. Mason's friends kind of laughed at my crying. I told them to shut up. Mason and I said good bye and I drove away.
And I cried all the way until we (my grandmother and I) reached Cedar City.
And then I cried intermittently until we reached Fillmore.
Grandma just kept handing me tissues.
And then I cried while writing this blog post. (Writing this blog post while listening to "Cat's In The Cradle" by Harry Chapin, "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins, "Don't Forget To Remember Me" by Carrie Underwood, and "Daniel" by Elton John didn't help with the crying.)
And I'll probably cry all the way through February too.
I keep thinking of the quote from the movie The Other Side Of Heaven where the dad says "I don't know anyone in Tonga well enough to love them, and send them my son, but I guess God does." That basically sums up how I feel right now, I don't know anyone in Ecuador well enough to love them and send them my brother but I guess God does.
Mason's going to be a great missionary. He's naturally friendly and social (much more friendly and social than I ever have been.) He's smart, a hard worker, and he has a great testimony of the gospel. And I'm sure he'll keep his companions and investigators laughing. Mason is very caring and loving as well. I'm happy and excited for him and the people of Ecuador. I'm just sad for me. Because I'm going to miss my friend.
One of the great things about EFY is that it gave me cause to look at myself in a different light. I wanted to let my kids know why I'm jaundice, but I wanted a fun and positive way to explain it. So I thought of something brilliant. I would tell my kids that my skin glows like Rapunzel's hair in Tangled. It worked for them, for my fellow counselors, and even for me. The past four weeks when I've told people they've been like "It's so true, you glow." It's so much better to be told that you glow rather than looking at yourself like an ugly neon light. And as we discussed the theme Arise and Shine and how these kids can get the glow of the Spirit by living the gospel I realized that "glowing" is a good thing. I'm glad to "glow".
I'm up late again, chilling in the stairwell, making sure none of the EFY Friday night lock down "prisoners" don't escape. The keys are collected, damage reports completed, I'm listening to my Walt Disney Pandora channel, reading some General Conference talks, finishing up my tenth journal and beginning my eleventh journal. I love EFY. It's weird to think that I'm not going to be doing this for another three weeks. EFY has consumed my life this past month and I've loved it. I'm exhausted and I could use a break, but part of me really doesn't want a break. It's so cool to actually be making a difference by what I'm doing. Even if I just touch one or two lives for good, it's so worth it. I love going to bed exhausted because I've been serving others and my Savior. And bringing these girls and boys closer to Him has brought me closer to Him. I've made some awesome friends. I've learned what it means to be truly respected by men and I've learned what it looks like when a man loves the Lord with all his heart. I've learned that I need to learn how to work in a partnership better. I've learned that I hate disciplining people, even when it's necessary and in their best interests. I've learned that people get scared when you threaten to go all "Lamanite mother" on them. I've been able to glimpse Heavenly Father's love for these kids. I've learned how much I've learned over the past seven years of my life. I've learned a lot since I was fourteen. And when I'm twenty eight I'll be like "I've learned a lot since I was twenty one." I want my kids to know that life gets better than it is at fourteen. It really truly does.
Wow!! I have learned and grown so much the past few weeks doing EFY. I have made many new friends and I've learned lots of parenting skills. I have also learned to trust in the Lord and He has given me strength beyond my own to do the things that I need to do for my children at EFY. It's so awesome to see the change that happens in just a week with these kids as they learn to apply the gosple to their lives. This whole experience has really strengthened my testimony too. My girls strength amazes me, they all have so many hard things going on in their lives.
Not too mention that I feel so much more hip now. I'm all up on what's cool with 14 - 15 and the 16 - 18 crowd. I've learned a lot about the Bieb's and One Direction, COWs (crush of the week), and that apparently the music I grew up with in elementary school is cool again, especially Backstreet Boys and N'Sync! It's pretty much awesome!!
These past few weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of my life. I've gone to bed every night absolutely exhausted and woken up still exhausted. But it's the best feeling ever. I've felt tired for all sorts of reasons but the best tired is tired out from doing the work of the Lord with all your heart, might, mind, and strength. Because of that these weeks have also been some of the best weeks of my life. I have seen miracles. And I can't wait for more EFY weeks.
Basically the moral of the story is that I have the best job ever in the history of best job's ever!!!
'Nuff said.
Enjoy the pictures. :)
Cute note from an unknown boy to all the girls at EFY.
This post is kind of a combined tribute to my Dad for Father's Day and to my little (or not so little) brother who recently graduated and is soon to head off to college and then on to his mission. Mason's spent a lifetime being told that he's just like dad. And I think that's a good guy to be like. :) I was recently listening to Brad Paisley's "If He's Anything Like Me" and it made me think of both of them. So I thought I'd share it. :)
"He's gonna love me
And hate me along the way
The years are gonna fly by
And I already dread the day
He's gonna hug his mama, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me
There's worst folks to be like, oh, he'll be alright
This video is the video I can imagine my dad making for my mom to celebrate Mother's Day when we were little, you know, if youtube had existed back then. :)
And this is the song that I found for Mother's Day to share to show my Mom I love her!
It's been a while. I've finished another semester and started a new job. I turned 21 and celebrated in the Sunny South when my family. I got my "adult" drivers license and I went to the temple with an old roommate.
I just finished Heaven Is Here by Stephanie Nielson and it's pretty much amazing, everyone should read it. Now I'm about a third of the way through the first book of The Hunger Games but it's common knowledge that book is amazing. I still haven't watched the movie yet. I've also been reading The Emerald City of Oz which I think is probably one of the funniest books I have ever read. My favorite part of that book is when the evil nome general is trying to get the Whimsies, strong creatures with tiny heads who wear huge fake heads made out of pasteboard, to join in his evil plot to capture a magic belt. He tells them his plan which they agree to. Then comes my favorite part of the book:
"One Whimsie alone seemed to have a glimmer of sense, for he asked: 'Suppose we fail to capture the Magic Belt? What will happen then, and What good will all our fighting do?' But they threw him into the river for asking foolish questions, and laughed when the water ruined his pasteboard head before he could swim out again."
I've been thinking a lot about attitude lately. There are some people who just naturally have a good attitude and are optimistic. It doesn't matter if life dumps a butt-load-of-crap on them, their still happy and find the good in life. And some people are really good at hiding their trials, at making it seem like nothing bad ever happens to them. I'm not naturally like that, I'm pretty open about my problems and I have a tendency and if I get mad or frustrated I'm not good at hiding it. I have to remind myself to use my filter. Whether I'm mad about politics, network TV, personal stuff or whatever other random things I get upset about, everybody doesn't need to know about it all the time and life's still good even when things aren't perfect. I'm trying to give myself an attitude adjustment and I'm trying to learn to be as happy and optimistic as so many people that I know who I so admire.
The chorus of Kelly Clarkson's newest song "Stronger" pretty much explains how I feel about life.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone"
And I've pretty much been OBSESSED with anything and everything to do with Mr. Alex Goot and Mr. Chad Sugg. Seriously. OBSESSED. I spend hours listening to their covers, their original songs, and watching their vlogs while working on homework, studying, filling out paper work, chilling at the hospital getting my blood sucked out of me, and just chilling doing nothing. It was hard to pick a favorite to share on the blog, but I absolutely love their cover of Call Me Maybe. It's way better than the original. But I also love What Makes You Beautiful, Wizards (love the Harry Potter reference), Pumped Up Kicks, and Stereo Hearts(how many guys can pull of singing in a spider man costume and use star wars references and still make me want to marry them? not many!). I can't decide who I love more, Alex or Chad. I pretty much just want to marry both of them.
And yes, I've shared this video on Facebook, Pinterest, and now my blog. I'm slightly obsessed.
(If any of those boys gave me their number, I would call them. And it's true, all the girls want their babies.)
Community has been renewed (even if it is just for a short season)! Cool. Cool cool cool.
Honestly, 90% of the time, I love fairy tales. I'm a sucker for any good Disney movie with a princess and prince and a good old fashioned happy ending (I mean, how cute is Tangled?! Seriously!) And I love Taylor Swift fairy tale songs with happy endings as well (Is it possible to find a better song than "Love Story" or "Enchanted" or "Mine" or "Fearless" or any happy T. Swift song?) I love Jane Austen novels which don't get much more fairy tale. And I'm probably the biggest romantic day dreamer that I know. But sometimes I get to the point where I'm like "Forget this! It's overrated anyway. Boys are dumb. Guys are gay. And real men don't exist anymore.( Go here for a refresher on the difference between boys, guys, and men.) At times like that I listen to Carry Underwood's "The More Boys I Meet" and Sara Bareilles "Fairytale". And occasionally I'll go for Broadway tunes like "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun" and the ever classic "I Hate Men".
So you remember when I told you all that I had found a new obsession in Alex Goot. Yeah it's a true story. As a matter of fact I'm going to share another one of his music videos with you all. Because I'm just kind like that and want to introduce you to amazing music. I've had his song "Sensitivity" on replay today. I don't know what it is about a gorgeous, nerdy guy who has a beautiful voice and sings sensitive, melancholy songs, but he absolutely melts my heart. And the lyrics to this song are how I would describe my life this past week or two and how I hope it will go in the future.
"I don't even know the real me anymore
I can't even show how I feel
I hit the floor
I'm talking rock bottom
My feelings I fought 'em
I can't believe it's come to this
Cause I need a grip on reality
Now I wanna feel some sensitivity
I've been doing fine in my misery
Not crazy
I told them not to worry about me"
For reasons usually unknown, some people are born with physical limitations. Specific parts of the body may be abnormal. Regulatory systems may be out of balance. And all of our bodies are subject to disease and death. Nevertheless, the gift of a physical body is priceless. Without it, we cannot attain a fulness of joy.18
A perfect body is not required to achieve a divine destiny. In fact, some of the sweetest spirits are housed in frail frames. Great spiritual strength is often developed by those with physical challenges precisely because they are challenged. Such individuals are entitled to all the blessings that God has in store for His faithful and obedient children.19 _ Elder Russel M. Nelson
Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.
I know, I know... that's dedication...especially since I'm such a hard core U fan and because everyone who knows me knows how much I love football.
Granted, I waited until half time to post.
That's dedication to my team for you.
I've been keeping a very close watch on the game (online via KSL, you know, when I haven't been rocking out to the Beatles, studying, facebook stalking people, texting, blog stalking people, looking at youtube, looking up meanings to some of my favorite songs.) I've been keeping a crazy close watch on this game. But there was one moment when I may have gotten a little distracted from my football vigilance, and that is when "For Good" from Wicked came on my internet radio. I love that song. But it got me thinking, what if, what if Utah and BYU were . . . dare I say it . . . friends.
For those of you who aren't familiar with Wicked or with the song "For Good", it's basically about these two witches who are complete opposites and so they hate each other but then they become best friends, which is where the song "For Good" comes in. What if I were to change the lyrics to fit the rivalry between these two schools, especially since some people think that the rivalry will end since they are no longer in the same sports thingy (I don't know what it's called!). And to be nice, I'll even put the U as the "wicked" witch.
For Good:
(The U) I'm limited Just look at me -
I'm limited And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, BYU
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...
(BYU) I've heard it said That rival schools come into our lives for a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led To those who help us most to grow If we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes a sun Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good
(The U) It well may be That we will never meet again In this lifetime So let me say before we part So much of me Is made of what I learned from you You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart And now whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine By being my rival...
Like a ship blown from its mooring By a wind off the sea Like a seed dropped by a skybird In a distant wood Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you
(BYU) Because I knew you
Lovely picture . . . I just had to add it haha
(Both) I have been changed for good
(The U) And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness For the thing I've done you blame me for
(BYU) But then, I guess we know There's blame to share
(Both) And none of it seems to matter anymore
(BYU) Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes a sun Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood
(The U) Like a ship blown from its mooring By a wind off the sea Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
(Both) Who can say if I've been Changed for the better? I do believe I have been Changed for the better
(BYU) And because I knew you...
(The U) Because I knew you...
(Both) Because I knew you... I have been changed for good.
