My Mantra Every Time I Get On Facebook

The. End.

I Hate When My Guitar Starts Weeping Gently

Warning: Random Rambling/Ranting Post

The theory of evolution is just that a theory.  Do you want to know what else is a theory? Gravity.

The word "believe" is not synonymous with the word "agree."  "I believe in Santa Claus" would be the correct way to use the word believe.  "I don't in the Occupy Wall Street movement" would be the wrong usage of believe.  You may not agree with the Occupy Wall Street movement, but you still believe that it exists.

Stop judging.  All it does it make you seem mean.  And yes, I know that since you talk crap about everyone and their dog behind their backs to me, that you're talking crap to everyone and their dog about me.  I'm just smart enough to figure that out.

I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you, I'm not mean, and I'm not depressed.  I'm just an introvert.

When I Feel Fine I'm Dying And When I Feel Like I'm Dying I'm Fine

At least, that's what some doctors (who were treating me at the time) told me the other day.

I went to my routine doctors appointment.  My blood was drawn like normal and then I waited for a shot of medication and to hear if I was going to be bled today.

I waited for an hour.

Then a lady in a white doctors coat called my name.  I walked over to her thinking that she was just going to take me to get my shot like she was supposed to. Her words stopped me cold "We're admitting you to the hospital right now."

"What? Why?  I don't even feel sick." You know, except for the strange sinking sensation in my stomach, but I think that was just from the information I was hearing.

"Yeah your billirubin doubled and we think your kidneys are going to fail."

"Oh.  Ok."  I know, great response. She walked away to arrange me going up to the hospital while I walked, dazed, over to the window while reaching for my phone. I called my parents, still confused. "Hey I'm getting admitted to the hospital.  Just thought you might want to know."

"What?  Why?" (My response exactly!)

"Um, apparently my billirubin doubled in the past two weeks and my organs are going to be failing or something. I don't know, something dumb like that.  Honestly, I'm kind of confuzzled about the whole situation."

"Ok well let us know what's going on and we'll get there when we can."

"Alright."  A few minutes later I was ushered into a patient room and told to wait.  You see they had already filled out all the paper work to get me admitted to the hospital there just weren't any available beds.  I was ok with this because I felt fine so I wasn't really in any sort of rush to get up to the hospital.  The way I saw it, they should probably save those beds for someone who was actually feeling sick.  But apparently I would be feeling sick soon.  At least I assumed that I'd feel sick if my organs started failing.  But what do I know?  Apparently my organs have failed before, but I don't really remember those moments, but I assume I felt sick before said organ failure.  But we all know what assuming does.

So I waited some more in the patient room.  I texted my parents, my roommates, surfed the internet on my iPod, and I even took pictures on my iPod. This nice skinny little brunette nurse practitioner came into the room and introduced herself to me.  She said I was being admitted to the hospital, which I already knew.  I could tell she was super nervous, like hyperventilating nervous. She asked me how I was feeling.

"Fine.  I don't feel sick at all."

Yeah.  She didn't believe me.

She listed off symptom after symptom.

"Nope I don't have that symptom."

"Haven't noticed that symptom."

"I feel good.  No complaints."

 She asked me "So when did you first notice you were jaundice?"  Well that's a tough question for me to answer, you know, considering I've always been yellow.  So I told her that.  "Well when did you first notice you were getting more yellow than usual?"

"Umm, I didn't."

"Well had anyone mentioned it to you?"

"Well my mom did tell me I should ask what my billirubin is today..."  Ms. Nurse Practitioner laughed so hard.

I asked her "So exactly what are you guys going to do to get rid of the billirubin?  And how long am I going to be hospitalized?"

"I don't know on either count.  They (the doctors upstairs in the actual hospital portion of the building)are looking on the internet to try and figure out what they're going to do with you. And I don't know how long you'll be in the hospital. Oh and your doctor is out of the country . . . actually I don't know where he is or when he'll get back or how to get a hold of him . . . so you'll have a different doctor."

(Why are my doctors always out of the country whenever anything exciting happens to me?)


"Oh.  Ok." (Don't I have just the best responses?) Ms. Nurse Practitioner continued on to see if she could feel my spleen.  That was actually my bad.  I always forget to tell people that I'm missing a spleen.  And they always freak out when they find out.  And Ms. Nurse Practitioner was no exception.

"Oh ok.  I did see these scars over here (pointing to my gall bladder surgery scars) so I wondered."

"Haha actually those scars are from when my gall bladder was removed."

"What?!?!  No spleen or gall bladder?!?!  You've had a lovely life haven't you?" She continued to comment on just how jaundice I was looking - even the inside of my mouth was yellow.  "The good thing about being yellow is that you already have your Halloween costume." She laughed and then continued on to tell me about the time she had to put leeches on a guy who had his big toe surgeically removed to replace his toe. Yeah.

Then she asked my favorite question "Why are you in such a good mood?"

Hmm well let's think about that for a second.  Maybe, just maybe, it could be because I don't feel sick. Maybe.

Maybe it's because this is kind of a funny situation to be in - feeling fine and being admitted to the hospital.  I mean, it's a little bit of a weird situation.  Maybe it's because I was either because I was going to cry because I was nervous about being in this odd situation, or I was going to laugh about it.  I'd prefer to laugh.  Or maybe it's because every time I go to the doctor with my dad and he's nervous he makes jokes and laughs about it.  It's his coping mechanism.  I think it's mine too now. I'm used to laughing in weird situations like being at the emergency room from midnight until 3 am.  The only way I know how to deal with it is to laugh through it. Maybe it's because I was kind of bored and again, I'm like my dad in the fact that when I get bored I start making jokes and laughing.

I always find myself nervously smiling/laughing at my new doctors office.

Soon I found myself going upstairs to the hospital and to my room.  The room was completely dark and the nurse who took me there just left me in the dark room.  So I set down my purse and started looking for light switches. You wouldn't think it would be that hard.  It was.  I swear they were all hidden.  The one light switch I could find was painted bright red.  If there is one thing I've learned in my life it is that you NEVER flip the RED light switch.  It's just the rule.  Any TV show or movie you watch nothing good comes from touching/flipping the red light switch.  It's just common sense. If you flip the red switch something bad has to happen.  It's like inviting armageddon to begin, right there in your hospital room.  Or there is going to be a drop door that will appear the second you flip the red switch and you're going to fall to your certain death.  Or a pack of wild dogs will be released and start attacking you if you flip the red switch. Or (probably more likely) there will be a loud alarm that will sound and I'll be surrounded by security or maybe doctors and nurses in a panic who think that I'm dying right that second, if you flip the red switch.  So because I knew nothing good could come from flipping the red switch I decided to search the room for another switch.  I didn't find one before the nurse came in saying "You must be so bored you're wandering around here."

Don't Flip It!

Light Switch Of Death!

"No, actually I just can't figure out how to get the lights on."

Yeah, all I had to do was flip the red light switch.

Eventually, my hosptital doctors came in. They reiterated the fact that my doctor was in some undisclosed/unreachable/unknown location and then they asked me what was up. I explained the whole situation, they listened. After deliberating why I had been taken off some medication last month, deliberating about my cold the previous week, and asking me about my (practically non-existent) "glucose-diet" ("You mean the one where I'm supposed to drink soda - which I hate - and eat candy bars - which I love?") They determined that I probably wasn't going to die (whew!) but that they wanted to keep me over night - you know - so that they could watch if I did die (but they weren't going to do anything to prevent me from dying).  Thanks to some smooth talking from my parents, I was able to break out of there and not stay over night.  (YAY!) My parents are way better at talking to doctors than I am.  I think I'm going to have to work on that.

Dear Zombies Occupying Wall Street:

I can't put my thoughts on the zombies occupying wall street (and salt lake as of today) any better than the Beatles did in their song "Revolution". So here's the lyrics (which I don't own.)

You say you want a revolution

Well you know

We all want to change the world

You tell me that its evolution

Well you know

We all want to change the world

*********

You say you got a real solution

We all want to see the plan

You ask me for a contribution

Well you know

We're all doing what we can

*********

(for the tea party, just for fun)

You say you'll change the constitution

Well you know

We'd all love to change your head

*********

Don't you know it's gonna be alright

Basically I don't think zombie occupation is going to help anything.  I don't even think it's addressing the real problem. In the words of Forest Gump:

That's all I have to say about that.

My Institute Teacher Says That My Generations Biggest Problem Is That We Talk Too Much

I don't know what he's talking about.

Actually - that's a lie -  I do know what he's talking about.  He's talking about texting, facebook, twitter, blogs, and other social networking stuff.  I'll say this though, the "older generation" is always complaining about how my generation doesn't know how to talk (face to face).  Maybe not the best choice of words on my teachers part but I get what he's saying.

I agree with him to a certain extent - my generation is prone to let social networking take over their lives and use it as a great tool for procrastination.  Or maybe that's just what I sometimes allow social networking do.  I agree that we shouldn't let our virtual worlds take over reality. And maybe (just maybe) not everyone wants or should know my opinion about everything or what I'm doing every second of the day.  Maybe my blog posts could be a little shorter (it's not like I write a novel every time I blog. Or post all of my pictures at once in a forever long post.)  Maybe I don't have to record everything through pictures, blogging, facebook statusing, and journaling.  Maybe that's a little bit excessive.  Maybe.

But I was talking to my grandmother the other day and she was telling me that she hates to write.  She told me that when she was growing up if her writing wasn't perfect she'd get a slap on the wrist and so she still to this day feels like she is being judged when she writes anything.  This is a really sad fact for me because the older I get, the more I realize that she grew up in a completely different world then I did, and it's a world I know next to nothing about.  I would love to read her journal and to know what life was like for her in the moment, when she was my age.  The more family history I work on the more I wish that I had the record of their lives out of their very own mouths, not just out of their family members and descendants interpretations, remembrances, and observations. I love and treasure my grandfathers personal history that he wrote about himself before he died.  I feel like it gives me a chance to get to know him even better.  I also treasure the history of my other grandfather that my mom compiled.  But sometimes I think it would be nice to read what they were feeling in the moment when they were my age and what life was like for them then.  I really like reading the journal entries of people in different time periods.  I went to visit the LDS Church History Library and I was impressed how many journals they have available to read.  I read the story of someone who was in Hawaii on Pearl Harbor day.  It was amazing.  I recently got to ride around with one of my grandmothers and she told me all about the people who had lived the places we visited and what they did with their lives.  She even told me some stories about her and her young family riding down that old dirt road years ago.  They were so different from me, and yet they are apart of me. I felt connected to them somehow.  I love hearing their stories.  I guess that's why I don't mind lectures from my "crazy great uncle" about days long gone.

Maybe someday someone will want to hear my generations story.  With how quickly the world is changing, my children's and grandchildren's world and lives will be so different from mine.  If they ever do, they'll have plenty to look at and read to hear our story, to see our world.

First's, Thank You's, and Other Randomness

I've had some firsts this week.

First time going to the gym all by myself at night in the big city.

First time going running. (A result of being scared to death by the above first. Those of you who know me know that I do NOT run.  Ever.  I think my mom thought I'd gone crazy or was sick or got replaced by someone else because her daughter doesn't run.)

First time going bike riding. (In a LONG time).

First time getting on the wrong shuttle. (No worries though, I had plenty of time and eventually got where I was going.)

First homework assignment at the U.

First time class has been cancelled for a football game. (And to answer the question you must be asking, no I didn't go.)

First job interview. (In a long time.)

First time writing a resume. (In a long time.)

First time going up to my grandparent's land and camping. (In a long time.)

First time helping/watching my uncle and cousin figure out how to turn around a horse trailer.

First time waiting until after dark to help pick up my other uncle and cousin from their horseback riding expedition.

First time going up to "the land" without my allergies driving me crazy.  (Thank you knock-off Walgreens Claritin.)

First time going to a church that was so full that I got pushed into the corner of the Relief Society room for sacrament meeting, heard my uncles phone go off to the Steve Miller Band, and watched kids guess what a lady was drawing on the white board and then vigorously erase the drawing.

First time driving rush hour traffic on a Friday evening past a car accident.

First time getting locked out of my apartment.

First quizzes of the new semester.

Not everything this week was a first.  I got to hang out with Grandma H. just the two of us which we've been able to do more often lately.  I really like hanging out just the two of us.  Thanks for inviting me up for the weekend Grandma! And feeding me good food that I didn't have to cook myself.  You're awesome!

I also need to shout out a big Thank You to Aunt Judy for inviting me over to Sunday dinner a couple of weeks ago and again sending me home with lots of yummy, healthy food.  This isn't the first time you've been so kind to me and I'm sure it won't be the last.

I've gotten so many invites for dinner and to help out if I need anything that I know I'm going to be set for a long time.  I feel so loved and I can't wait to hang out with all of my family on such a personal basis.  I feel so blessed.  I know I've got so many people looking out for me.  I think that's probably the only reason my Mom hasn't gone crazy is because she know's I've got such a great support system with my wonderful family who are there in case I need anything.  It's comforting for me too.

Just in case this post wasn't long enough for you, I thought I'd add in a link to Kid History - Episode 6.  I love Kid History and this episode featured some smoothies that reminded me of one of my cousins classic "Green Smoothies" which I love but the kids reactions to them are so funny.

Song for the long weekend:
"Take a Back Road" - Rodney Atkins

Scenes From NYC

Warning: Tons of Photos

No Soup For You!

Central Park is beautiful!

Today Show

I love SNL so I had to get a picture of these t-shirts.

The tour bus we rode on.  If you ever go to NYC don't  ride the Grayline - Take City Sights.

The view of Central Park from Rockefeller Center.

Had to get my Harry Potter fix at the Harry Potter Exhibition.

I had to get a picture of the Mormon Ads.

I'm in love with Flynn Rider!

Awe, it's the fam!

I had to get a picture with Buddy from the Cake Boss!

Visiting Hogwarts.

Gotta love Forest Gump!