Wall of Gratitude

Every year during the month of November for the past three years, my roommates and I have put up a "Wall of Gratitude".  This wall of sticky notes serves as reminder of all the things we have been blessed with and gives us an opportunity to express our gratitude.  It becomes a game to a certain extent.  We usually keep it up throughout Christmas to remind us about all of the wonderful things in life.  Well it's only October and I don't have any roommates this year, but I want to start my "Wall of Gratitude".  I am challenging myself for the next two months to find something everyday to be grateful for and to express that gratitude.  If it's a long story I feel like sharing about my gratitude, I'll share it on here.  If it's a quick thought, I'll share it on Facebook.  I also will take the time to write private and personal notes of gratitude to those in my life to whom I owe a debt of gratitude.  Which is most of the people in my life.

My first "sticky note of gratitude" goes to my Heavenly Father.  Of course I always owe him and feel grateful for the life He has granted me, the world He allows me to live in, and the family and friends He has blessed me with.  But today I am feeling particularly grateful for His guidance in my life for a particular reason.

Today I found out that starting in January 2014, because of some new government regulations, Child Life Interns will have to be either affiliated with a college or paid in order to do their internship that is required to become certified.  Because of this, if I didn't have my internship that I have today, I wouldn't be able to do my internship, because I am unaffiliated with any college and let's face it, they're never gonna pay interns.  I got this internship at the perfect time.

Flash back to two years ago.  As my EFY participants and close friends and family know, I was debating on going on a mission.  I really, really wanted to go on a mission.  I had a mile long list on why it was a good idea for me to go on a mission.  I had wanted to go since I was eleven years old. I had been told by many people I would be a really good missionary, and I believed them. I thought it would be an awesome experience.   But I had never asked my Heavenly Father about it.  This time of year two years ago I started to really ask Heavenly Father about my plan to go on a mission.  I told him how much I wanted to go.  But I got an answer of "No."  I didn't understand it.  I argued with Heavenly Father, telling Him that it was a good thing that I wanted.  I fluctuated back and forth about going on a mission for two months.

Finally I had a really great friend tell me about her experience as an EFY counselor.  I felt really strongly that I should apply to be an EFY counselor. So I did.  And long story short, on some long shot, I became an EFY counselor.  That opportunity was the best two summers of my life.

My decision to not go on a mission has still been a difficult one.  As I watched the age drop and watched many friends and my younger brother going on missions, I wondered if I was missing something, if I had made the right choice.  I watched women my age who had gone on missions as they came back and these women were incredible.  I wondered if I could ever reach their spiritual level.  I wondered if I had missed out on my chance.

Through an incredible EFY miracle, I got an internship out in PA for this fall.  I am exactly where I need to be.  If I had gone with my plan for my life and gone on a mission, an internship would've been so much harder for me to get.  I would have missed this awesome opportunity.  I would have missed the opportunity to work with so many amazing youth and make amazing friends.

I am so glad that Heavenly Father told me "No."  I couldn't understand it two years ago, or even one year ago.  But Heavenly Father had a specific plan for me.  He had something that for me was better than a mission.  I know that Heavenly Father wants me to be a Child Life Specialist.  I don't know why, but I know he does.  I know that He wants me to live in Pennsylvania right now.  I don't know why, I just know he does.  I'm excited to see how other pieces of my life and His plan for me work out.  I know that Heavenly Father has guided me so far, and I know that He will continue to guide me to where I need to be.

If you don't know why you are where you are or why Heavenly Father gave you an answer that you didn't want or what Heavenly Father wants you to do with your life, just know this.  Heavenly Father does have a plan for you.  You may not understand it.  It may be difficult.  It may be different than what you would plan for yourself.  But the peace that comes from living your plan and knowing that you are where Heavenly Father wants you is worth the difficulty.  Heavenly Father loves you and knows you better than you know your self.

Palmyra, New York

I didn't have to work on Monday so I decided to take a trip up to Palmyra, New York to see the church sites.  What an amazing day trip.  It took me a while to get up there because it was raining and my GPS took me through all sorts of tiny, random towns.  I finally arrived at noon and it was still raining at that point.  I drove past the Hill Cumorah, the Palmyra Temple, and started at the Joseph Smith Farm.  I was greeted by a lovely missionary, Sister Trang.  She showed me around the log cabin where the Smith Family originally lived and where the Angel Moroni visited Joseph Smith and told him where to go at the Hill Cumorah to find the gold plates.  It was really cool to be in the room where it happened.  Then we walked down to the frame house and we realized that we were EFY counselors together at SLC week 2 last year.  Crazy small world.  She then showed me the frame house and we continued to discuss EFY.  Then she allowed me to walk into the Sacred Grove by myself.  Since I had my phone with me, I decided to play the Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD dedicated to the prophet Joseph Smith softly.  I started off with Joseph Smith's First Prayer, the On A Golden Springtime, and then This Is My Beloved Son.  As I walked it was still raining a little, but not down pouring.  It was a peaceful rain and the rain drops looked absolutely beautiful on the leaves and trees.  I could feel the Spirit so strongly as I wandered.  I could imagine Joseph Smith praying and pictures Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appearing.  I stopped to pray for a moment.  Then I began to make my way back out, listening to Joseph, A Nashville Tribute songs The Prayer and The Rising.  I stopped halfway through to the end and decided to read Joseph Smith History.  It was so beautiful.  I realized as I read about the visit from the Angel Moroni, that it had occurred 190 years ago, to the week, almost to the day, I was there.  It was a tender mercy.  Seeing these sites was an amazing experience, especially as I had had an opportunity to study Joseph Smith and the process to bring forth the Book of Mormon all summer at EFY.

I then decided to stop by the Palmyra Temple and the Grandin Bookstore. The Palmyra Temple is small but beautiful with stain glass windows of the sacred grove and a view of the sacred grove.  I also was able to attend the temple dedication of this temple so it was really cool to see it in person. On the way to the bookstore I saw the four churches on the corner that caused Joseph so much confusion.  The bookstore was really cool as well.  It was cool to see how much work went into the printing of the Book of Mormon.  The Sister Missionary who took me on the tour there happened to have dated the son of one of my favorite Child Life Professors at Utah.  Again it was a super small world.  After I went to the Hill Cumorah which was also a really cool experience.

Guys, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is so so true.  It's amazing.  And I love it.

Things I Haven't Posted Yet

It's been a while since I've blogged.  I guess I've been too busy living to blog.  Which is definitely a good thing.  Anyway, here are the updates:

• I went to Arizona and was a mother for a week and a half to three children.  What a crazy week and a half!  But I'm so glad that I got to hang out with Sabrina and her adorable children!
• I have been working EFY this summer.  I worked three weeks in Utah and I'm now in Virginia for four weeks!
• I will be moving to Pennsylvania to do a Child Life internship (in the middle of nowhere) sometime in August or September (date still up in the air).  Getting that internship was an EFY miracle.  And it is obviously where I need to be now.
• I love Virginia.  It's so green and beautiful.  And the fireflies!  Oh the fireflies! I am officially obsessed with fireflies!  I had no idea what I was missing but I'm like a little kid when I see fireflies!  And the food!  Oh the yummy, huge portioned, unhealthy food that tastes like a sinful heaven!  I love it!  I'm going to be so fat at the end of this month.  Except for the huge hill (mountain?) that I have to climb several times a day to get back to my dorms.
• And yes I've been wearing yellow all summer.  And I wore a bright pink sparkly headband today.  It's a strange world we live in.

Now for picture overload:

Graduation 2013

I did it! After four years and two universities I'm a college graduate!!  I'm so glad my parents and grandparents were all able to make it to the ceremony. 

My graduation announcements

Grandma and Grandpa Heiner and I.

Me and all of my grandparents.

Grandma Moore and I.

Me and my parents.

Yay I'm Graduated!

As I close this chapter of my life, I'm feeling so grateful.  I couldn't have graduated without all of the love and support of my family and friends.  I would be nowhere without my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  

"Living In The Moment"

I absolutely love Jason Mraz.  I stumbled across across one of his new songs "Living in the Moment" while listening this playlist on Songza and I immediately pressed the thumbs up button, googled the lyrics to this song, and added the song on Spotify. (Random tangent: It's pretty ridiculous just how many different ways it is to listen to music now.  You'd think between my CD's, car radio, iTunes, Pandora, last.fm, Grooveshark, Youtube, Songza, Spotify,  and my iPhone which has access to most of these music mediums, I'd have enough ways to listen to any song I want whenever I want.  And you'd probably be right.  But should it really take so many different avenues to get music?  I think it's slightly ridiculous, but I've pretty much almost always got at least one of them playing. I may be slightly addicted. I wonder if that's healthy?  But I digress.) Just ask my mother, this song is exactly what I need right now.  This past month have been absolutely insane and I have a feeling the next few months are going to be even crazier.  Now most of the madness has actually been very positive and I am so grateful for the opportunities that have been presented in my life right now.  But as good as they have been, they have also been stressful and I've been feeling really anxious, which I know is not healthy.  I know that I need to "run and hide my crazy and start acting like a lady" and "I wish I could be just a little less dramatic" (Miranda Lambert, "Mama's Broken Heart").  This song helps me to be a little less crazy and dramatic.  Jason Mraz is a genius, there isn't a song of his that I have heard that I haven't loved.  This song is like a grown up version of "Hakuna Mata"  which is perfect because I love that song but I'm not so good at having "no worries for the rest of my days."  But I'm going to try to be better at living in the moment with no worries.

Enjoy!

Video:

Lyrics:

If this life is one act 

Why do we lay all these traps 

We put 'em right in our path 

When we just wanna be free 

I will not waste my days 

Making up all kinds of ways 

To worry about all things 

That will not happen to me 

So I just let go of what I know I don't know 

And I know I'll only do this by 

Living in the moment 

Living my life 

Easy and breezy 

With peace in my mind 

With peace in my heart 

Peace in my soul 

Wherever I'm going, I'm already home 

Living in the moment 

I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done 

I let my past go past 

And now I'm having more fun 

I'm letting go of the thoughts 

That do not make me strong 

And I believe this way can be the same for everyone 

And if I fall asleep 

I know you'll be the one who'll always remind me 

To live in the moment 

To live my life 

Easy and breezy 

With peace in my mind 

With peace in my heart 

With peace in my soul 

Wherever I'm going, I'm already home 

I can't walk through life facing backwards 

I have tried 

I tried more than once to just make sure 

And I was denied the future I'd been searching for 

But I spun around and searched no more 

By living in the moment 

Living my life 

Easy and breezy 

With peace in my mind 

With peace in my heart 

With peace in my soul 

Wherever I'm going, I'm already home 

I'm living in the moment 

I'm living my life 

Just taking it easy 

With peace in my mind 

I got peace in my heart 

I got peace in my soul 

Oh, wherever I'm going, I'm already home 

I'm living in the moment 

I'm living my life 

Oh, easy and breezy 

With peace in my mind 

I got peace in my heart 

I got peace in my soul 

Oh, wherever I'm going, I'm already home 

I'm living in the moment

I Hate To Be Negative But November Is By Far The Worst Month For College Students

It's the truth.  It's the worst month of the entire year if you're a college student.  It's when the semester starts to wrap up with papers and projects coming out the wazoo!  It's also when college students start cramming in last minute extra credit and start studying for finals (or at least start thinking and stressing about finals).  Then if you're me, or crazy like me, you start a new job, volunteering, and new weekly medical treatments during this last month of the semester.  Because you know that November is supposed to be the craziest/hardest month of the semester, so you should probably try to make it crazier/harder in any way possible.  Because you're just smart like that. Not to mention that Novemember is when it starts to get super dark and cold and wintry.  Which means walking in the cold, windy, and snowy wetness of winter.  And if you're anything like me, all you can think about is how you probably won't see the sun again until April.  If you're lucky.

That's why I am so glad that Thanksgiving is in November.  Because if it wasn't, I would just continue on with all of my crazy negativity and stressing.  It gives me a chance to look at life and be like "Yes it's crappy, but it could be worse.  It could be raining." (I had to throw a Young Frankenstein quote in.  Just for fun).  It gives me a chance to look for the silver lining in the clouds of November that life really is good, and even all of my challenges have good things about them.  And it gives you an excuse to take a break for a couple of days and stuff your face with food and chill with family.

Yay for Thanksgiving!  I can't wait!

Life Lately According To Me And My IPod

Free Skull Candy Headphones . . .  The perks of going to treatments at a cancer center.  :)

First Day Of Snow

Yes, I know that gratitude is spelled wrong, my roommate insisted on writing the sign, and I didn't have the heart to correct her spelling...

November Tradition . . . The Gratitude Wall :)

In other news, I was very sad to hear the sad news about Poor Old Juniper Hall.  So many good memories from freshman year there.

Playlist:
"Be Ok" Ingrid Michaelson

Simple pleasures

College helps me to remember the simple pleasures in life like having your own room, having the more than one choice of cereal for breakfast, not just homemade food but moms cooking.

Seven

So I'm a nerd and I just realized that I have seven followers now and I got more than a little excited by that fact.  I feel so loved.  I finally feel like I'm really legit, I have more than one person following me.  So I thought to show my gratitude I would by all of you a new car!! (Just kidding, if I had the money I would but I don't.  Sorry!  It's the thought that counts right?)
Anyway,
I just wanted to say
Thanks!
:)