(Yet another post I wrote a really long time ago and never posted.)

There are some moments that stick with you.  There are moments when you wish you had chosen differently.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to go to the temple.  As I crossed the street from the Conference Center over to Temple Square a woman caught my eye.  She looked like your regular old homeless beggar that you might see any given day around Temple Square.  I knew the social routine - look away, pretend you don't see her, keep walking, ignore her, and if she tries to ask you for money politely say no without stopping. And I did.  I walked right on by her without stopping.  She did ask me for money and I shyly said no.

I instantly felt guilty, but I tried to put the instance out of my mind.  I thought to myself  "I'm a poor college student, it's not like I have money to give away anyway."  And then I thought "She'd probably just end up using it on drugs and alcohol anyway."  And I thought "She might have tried to steal your wallet when you brought it out or something."

But I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt.  I asked myself "Really?  You couldn't have spared a few dimes? Nickles? Pennies?  You had loose change in your pocket.  It may not have helped much but it could have helped her some."  And I considered the place I was going.  I was going to the temple to worship my Savior.  Did He turn away help for the poor and the homeless?  I considered what He would've done and compared it to what I had done.  I wondered if it was really my place to judge what she would spend the money on.  And why would I just assume the worst in this woman?  I also wondered at what had made her choose her location to beg.  Did she believe that Latter-Day Saints are Christ like people who would have compassion for the poor?  Had she been proven wrong over and over again that day and seen Latter-Day Saints as only judgmental hypocrites who don't practice what they preach?

This has bothered me for a while now. And I'm really not sure what to do.