Showing posts with label Dates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dates. Show all posts
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Pre-Date Jitters
That's right I have a date tonight...the first in a long time. Of course as soon as I woke up this morning I jumped up and went to my closet to pick out the perfect outfit...nice but casual. I helped my roommate pick out a perfect outfit as well, jewelry and everything. Then we cleaned the house. And cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned. Then we got ready. Katie was kind enough to do my hair for me, cute curls. As I waited I felt super nervous. I don't know this guy. My roommates don't know this guy. He is my roommates friends roommate. Luckily, KC ended up being very nice. We had yummy fondue (which the guys ended up experimenting with, of course) and played What If? and told stories. It was a fun, casual date. I hope to do more of those more often.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I am...dare I say it? Bored?!?!
Boredom is a beautiful thing.
Boredom means you have all the time in the world to do what ever you want to do. I can't even remember the last time I was bored. It is an amazing luxury. I mean I suppose I could work on homework, but I spent along time yesterday finishing up my book report, which got an A, and I don't have anything due for awhile so I'm taking a break, watching Inception and Hairspray. Or I could work on finding a job. I got to go on a walk, the weather was beautiful here. I'm nervous and excited for my date tomorrow. I'll keep you posted. I'm excited for summer. It's so close I can almost taste it!
Boredom means you have all the time in the world to do what ever you want to do. I can't even remember the last time I was bored. It is an amazing luxury. I mean I suppose I could work on homework, but I spent along time yesterday finishing up my book report, which got an A, and I don't have anything due for awhile so I'm taking a break, watching Inception and Hairspray. Or I could work on finding a job. I got to go on a walk, the weather was beautiful here. I'm nervous and excited for my date tomorrow. I'll keep you posted. I'm excited for summer. It's so close I can almost taste it!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Faith
I remember back when I was a little girl and I had such wide-eyed faith and hope and belief in everything working out perfectly. I miss that girl. I'm working to be more optomistic about how life is going to work out. I have decided that I need to have more faith in myself. I need to have more faith in the fact that I will get married, whether it's when I'm in my 20's, 30's or beyond, it's going to happen. God keeps his promises. I just can't determine the timing for the blessings. It's really become a matter of faith because I have no evidence that I'll ever get married or even get a date, but I'm trusting God. I have faith that marriages not all marriages end in divorce. And sometimes even the girl who seems unlikely to find love, does in fact find it. It may not be the happily ever after love of the fairy tales, love songs, and chick flicks. I have faith in the fact that I will find love at some point.
Friday, April 22, 2011
"D" is for Dating
My roommates are planning an "Australia Night" group date. I was talking to one of them and she was telling me that she doesn't feel like she has anyone to go with. I suggested some of her friends and she told me that she couldn't because "we're just friends and I'm not interested so I don't want to ask them." So I suggested a few men that I knew she had "admired" and then she said that she couldn't ask them because "I don't know them well enough."
That conversation got me thinking about dating and why its so complicated and I can now understand a little bit of the guys dilemma. They don't want to ask a "friend" because it could ruin their friendship and they don't want to ask someone who they don't know because that's kind of awkward.
I'm taking a marriage class and we have talked about how the best marriages are those that are based on friendship.
I guess the trick is gaining the courage to go from "just friends" to "more than just friends".Transitions are the hardest part in any relationship, at any time in the relationship. I haven't had too much luck with that so far. I'm actually really bad at that. I've gotten a lot of advice on how to deal with this transition but I've found that it's not something that can be taught in a book, fireside, talk or from the best advice from well meanin people.
I do know one thing, I want to be friends with men I'd be ok with dating an I want to date people who I can be friends with. I want my marriage to be a friendship.
That conversation got me thinking about dating and why its so complicated and I can now understand a little bit of the guys dilemma. They don't want to ask a "friend" because it could ruin their friendship and they don't want to ask someone who they don't know because that's kind of awkward.
I'm taking a marriage class and we have talked about how the best marriages are those that are based on friendship.
I guess the trick is gaining the courage to go from "just friends" to "more than just friends".Transitions are the hardest part in any relationship, at any time in the relationship. I haven't had too much luck with that so far. I'm actually really bad at that. I've gotten a lot of advice on how to deal with this transition but I've found that it's not something that can be taught in a book, fireside, talk or from the best advice from well meanin people.
I do know one thing, I want to be friends with men I'd be ok with dating an I want to date people who I can be friends with. I want my marriage to be a friendship.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Having it all and Hanging out and Other lessons learned in school
So my classes have kinda got me thinking lately. It's weird, I know, but I guess that's what college is supposed to do, make you think. First I came across this loverly quote in my parenting text book (yes I am taking a parenting class, no I am not in college just for my MRS degree I actually have plans for a very meaningful job and this class just happens to be a requirement to get that job!) :)
"We are a generation of young women raise to believe we can do it all. We also need the self-displine and wisdom to understand we can't do it all right now." - Jennifer Regen Bisbee
I think that is so true. Yes we are able to do whatever to do whatever we want to do. But we can't do everything right now and all at the same time. The hard part is deciding what is the most important thing to do first and balancing everything you want and need to do.
In my institute class we were discussing the difference between "hanging out" and "dating" like it is talked about in this amazing article. A lot of the guys (notice the usage of the word guys) got very defensive as all of the girls in the room talked about how we want to go on dates not just hang out. It was very interesting because this had been on my mind for a little while now. I just don't know how to make it any more clear to the guys and men out there that we actually want to go out on dates and not just hang out. Elder Oaks talks about "lock[ing] the pantry and bolt[ing] the front door [and] . . . hang[ing] up a sign, 'Will open for individual dates,'"
Well boys, guys, and men, my door is locked and there is a sign on my door.
Now dates don't need to be expensive or a big deal. Anything that lets you have a chance to get to know the other person is a good date (ie not a movie). And the great thing about dates is that they have a start and end time.
But other than that, we girls aren't very picky, we just want real inexpensive dates that let us get to know you and have a start and end time. That's all.
Then I was reading one of my textbooks about early childhood development and it was talking about how early childhood is from the ages of 0-8. I found that rather interesting. What happens to LDS boys and girls when they turn 8? They are baptised. We believe that they are then old enough and have learned enough to know basic right from wrong and to start making some of their own choices. We believe that before the age of 8 children are learning right from wrong. It was interesting reading about how important learning up to the age of 8 is in a secular world. It made me think, "Hmm, I wonder if Joseph Smith was an Early Childhood Development major and realized how kids view the world before the age of 8?" I don't think he did. I believe that it was inspired revelation to a prophet of God from a God who is an Early Childhood Development major, who would realize the learning that takes place at such a young age.
Then I was reading in my parenting textbook about the three styles of parenting, Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive (Authoritative is the good one.) I believe that I have Heavenly Parents, so I applied that to what I was learning and thought to myself, "Is Heavenly Father Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive?" Now of course the answer to this is "the gospel according to Kelsi" but the conclusion I came to is that He has to be Authoritative. Think about it. He isn't authoritarian because he gave us our agency, our ability to choose. He doesn't force us to do anything. And He explains why He wants us to do things (or why He doesn't want us to do things.) But He isn't permissive either. While we have the ability to make choices, we do not have the ability to choose the consequences, and He let's us know what the consequences are. He is an authoritative parent. He sets down clear guidlines of what He would have us do, He explains the "why?" behind most of it, and He keeps an honest open relationship with us (if we choose to accept that relationship and put forth the effort required.) He truely cares about us and if we slow down long enough to listen, He will let us know that.
Anyway, that's my long ramble of the night of what I've been paying to learn in college. I hope I didn't bore you too much. :)
"We are a generation of young women raise to believe we can do it all. We also need the self-displine and wisdom to understand we can't do it all right now." - Jennifer Regen Bisbee
I think that is so true. Yes we are able to do whatever to do whatever we want to do. But we can't do everything right now and all at the same time. The hard part is deciding what is the most important thing to do first and balancing everything you want and need to do.
In my institute class we were discussing the difference between "hanging out" and "dating" like it is talked about in this amazing article. A lot of the guys (notice the usage of the word guys) got very defensive as all of the girls in the room talked about how we want to go on dates not just hang out. It was very interesting because this had been on my mind for a little while now. I just don't know how to make it any more clear to the guys and men out there that we actually want to go out on dates and not just hang out. Elder Oaks talks about "lock[ing] the pantry and bolt[ing] the front door [and] . . . hang[ing] up a sign, 'Will open for individual dates,'"
Well boys, guys, and men, my door is locked and there is a sign on my door.
Now dates don't need to be expensive or a big deal. Anything that lets you have a chance to get to know the other person is a good date (ie not a movie). And the great thing about dates is that they have a start and end time.
But other than that, we girls aren't very picky, we just want real inexpensive dates that let us get to know you and have a start and end time. That's all.
Then I was reading one of my textbooks about early childhood development and it was talking about how early childhood is from the ages of 0-8. I found that rather interesting. What happens to LDS boys and girls when they turn 8? They are baptised. We believe that they are then old enough and have learned enough to know basic right from wrong and to start making some of their own choices. We believe that before the age of 8 children are learning right from wrong. It was interesting reading about how important learning up to the age of 8 is in a secular world. It made me think, "Hmm, I wonder if Joseph Smith was an Early Childhood Development major and realized how kids view the world before the age of 8?" I don't think he did. I believe that it was inspired revelation to a prophet of God from a God who is an Early Childhood Development major, who would realize the learning that takes place at such a young age.
Then I was reading in my parenting textbook about the three styles of parenting, Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive (Authoritative is the good one.) I believe that I have Heavenly Parents, so I applied that to what I was learning and thought to myself, "Is Heavenly Father Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive?" Now of course the answer to this is "the gospel according to Kelsi" but the conclusion I came to is that He has to be Authoritative. Think about it. He isn't authoritarian because he gave us our agency, our ability to choose. He doesn't force us to do anything. And He explains why He wants us to do things (or why He doesn't want us to do things.) But He isn't permissive either. While we have the ability to make choices, we do not have the ability to choose the consequences, and He let's us know what the consequences are. He is an authoritative parent. He sets down clear guidlines of what He would have us do, He explains the "why?" behind most of it, and He keeps an honest open relationship with us (if we choose to accept that relationship and put forth the effort required.) He truely cares about us and if we slow down long enough to listen, He will let us know that.
Anyway, that's my long ramble of the night of what I've been paying to learn in college. I hope I didn't bore you too much. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)